Twenty-one years ago today I awoke naked in a seclusion room at Clinton Valley Center, a Michigan state psychiatric hospital.
I had just managed to live through the worst night of my life, and upon regaining consciousness I thought that I had died and gone to hell. For three days I was in that little cell while my breast milk painfully dried up and I was overdosed by the attending nurses with Haldol, an anti-psychotic drug.
As the dystonia overtook my body, my tongue was lashing uncontrollably out of my mouth and I was shuddering with convulsions and seizure-like body movements. I was quickly transferred to a medical ward where I was once again placed in four-point restraints on a gurney and given 50 mg of Benadryl to help with the reaction.
Thus began the nightmare that was the biggest wake-up call of my life.
Three months previously I had given birth to a beautiful little girl and after a move in the dead of winter when she was six weeks old, I quickly degenerated into sleep deprivation mania and then experienced a psychotic break when she was three and a half months old. My husband and parents took me to a private Michigan hospital where I absolutely refused to sign myself into the psychiatric ward, and so I was sent on a medical certificate to the state hospital which was located in Pontiac, Michigan.
A few hours after my family left me in the care of the “professionals” I was being gang raped by four orderlies who, after cleaning me up a little bit, threw me — literally tossed me naked — into a seclusion room where I landed with a thud on a hard mat.
In mania a few days before I was hospitalized
Don’t believe torture exists in America? Do a little research on the abuses of the mentally Ill in long-term psychiatric care for more clarity on that topic.
Why write about this painfully private and horrifying episode on the eve of the biggest power grab in American History by the federal government? These stories need to be told.
After a year of being court ordered to eat a cocktail of psychiatric medications, I was able to find a female psychiatrist who gradually helped me to wean myself from the medications I had been forced to take by the judge. During the six weeks of my hospitalization, I had absolutely refused to be medicated as I wanted to continue to breastfeed my daughter.
I will never forget standing in court that April morning in 1989, pleading my case before the judge, confident that if he could just hear me out, he would let me go home and resume the care of my child. When he said the words “forced medications” my heart broke, something snapped in my mind, and although I did not know it at the time, an activist was born.
A few days after being released from the hospital, completely doped on Haldol, Lithium, and Stelazine
During the past 20 years since I stopped taking the toxic pills of the psychiatrists, I have given birth to four additional children and have not taken one dose of psychiatric medications. I have taken the time and energy to learn how to nourish my brain with nutrients and whole foods, and I have allowed myself the time to gradually heal. The loving support of my husband Paul has been invaluable.
I have continued to struggle emotionally. It took 12 years for me to remember being raped and the healing from that trauma has been slow and methodical ever since. A history of childhood sexual abuse has also been healed, and I now believe it was the root cause of my initial break with reality.
After a year of forced medications and weekly psychotherapy I was ready to either kill myself or get well. I chose to heal.
During the past ten years I have conducted a mountain of research on psychiatry and have watched with horror as the American people have willingly and almost unthinkingly dosed themselves with antidepressants and other psychiatric pills.
The forced drugging of American children in foster care is a blight on our society, and the many citizens being forcibly drugged in prisons and homes/hospitals for the mentally ill continues on with no end in sight, all currently funded of course, by the American taxpayer.
The pressure some families experience to dope school children for a variety of emotional problems is sometimes so intense, these little ones are threatened with removal from their homes or are sometimes forced to leave school if they refuse “treatment.” And it is only a few lone voices yelling about nutrition and nutrients for the brain that manage to be heard over the thunder of Big Pharma advertising and political power.
My research has convinced me that psychiatry is a fraud, plain and simple. And it was only because of my experience as a young, 21-year-old new mother that I even had the desire to learn the facts.
With “Services for the Mentally Ill” included in the health care bill, and an all-out witch hunt being planned in the form of The Mothers Act against the moms of America, the future I see for our daughters and granddaughters is one fraught with forced medications, taxpayers being soaked financially to pay for these overpriced toxins, and eventually citizens who protest against the government being locked up and drugged, as is so often done in the less free nations where psychiatric hospitals are used as a political weapon against dissenters.
The companies that stand to profit from further taxpayer funding of psychiatric care stand salivating in the wings as this little drama plays out in American politics. Rather than being handed control over the minds and pocketbooks of the American people they should all be tried for crimes against humanity as they have enslaved and ruined the lives of millions of people who unwittingly became addicted to their toxic soup of chemicals and have been left disabled and traumatized from the “care” received at the hands of these ignorant and brainwashed mental health professionals.
Lord knows the majority of the American people do not want busybodies in charge of their minds and bodies. Few writers and health freedom activists have taken the time to outline why the psychiatric side of the health care bill is problematic.
The Hatch family in 2003
But I would like to add my voice to the chorus yelling against the forced drugging of the American people. As a psychiatric survivor who has recovered and lived a relatively healthy and normal life because of holistic and alternative health care and has been able to heal not only the root cause of my emotional illness but also has been able to give birth to a large, healthy family without the use of any toxic medicines, federalizing psychiatry to the national level will only ensure the death and disability of a whole new group of psychiatric slaves.
The American people deserve better.
1 – DaveOct 08, 2010 at 11:03 am
Sorry, but I don’t believe that you were raped. I’ll bet the farm that it only happened in your mind. We all know that “recovered memories” are hokum. What a terrible thing to say.
Treated harshly? Probably. You yourself admitted that you had a psychotic break. What do you expect? People that are going through psychotic episodes aren’t exactly easy to deal with.
Sorry, but this is the type of rubbish that keeps people from seeking treatment.
Someone who has been there too….
2 – Jenny HatchOct 08, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I was raped by four orderlies the night I was incarcerated in Clinton Valley Center in Pontiac Michigan in March of 1989.
This state mental hospital, which was located in one of the toughest neighborhoods in Michigan, has since been torn down.
I was strapped to a four point restraint table and the orderlies raped me while I was restrained. They then threw my naked body into a seclusion room where I was to remain for a few days before they sent me up to the medical ward because I was refusing to eat.
I spent those three days praying and begging the Lord to let me die and willing myself to die.
I’m sorry that you have “been there too”.
I admit that I was a difficult patient, but you are absolutely incorrect in stating that “everyone knows” that recovered memories are not real.
I was like you during my twenties, I would watch movies about repressed trauma as related to sexual abuse and think to myself “what a load…”
Then my brother, who was my best friend, died of a drug overdose in 2001 and like a volcano exploding in my brain, the memories started to come into my conscious mind. I was re-hospitalized for suicidal overwhelm the week after he died. (This is very common when the memories start to surface)
I’m not offended that you don’t believe, until it happened to me, I did not believe it either.
Laura Davis Book, The Courage to Heal workbook was a lifeline to me during that time and she makes the case in her materials that when the memories start to surface it is a sign of health, because the persons body and mind recognize that the suffering soul has matured enough to face the truth.
Rape in mental hospitals is a reality.
I believe now that many of those who suffer from emotional illness were probably sexually assaulted, especially when they were children.
I was first molested as a pre-verbal baby and post partum depression/psychosis is directly tied to sexual abuse.